Taught myself to upload photos and a few other things that are second nature to most people under thirty. Thought it best to not be so dependent on my son for these things, he will move out one day, is keen to be independent and is saving for a place. As a matter of fact he puts me to shame, rarely buys anything he doesn’t need and thinks before he speaks!
I have had a trying few weeks where I felt I had to take a stand on some issues with friends overstepping their boundaries and treating me abusively. It made me re-evaluate my life and my relationships. Strange how some people consider nerves and anxiety an excuse to be abusive, as if it gives one a free pass somehow. The menopause made me do it seems to be a common theme among some women I know. The menopause is causing a whole lot of sweating for me but that is my problem, I try not to inflict it on others. [frequent showers and changes of clothing going on] Also strange how some women spend hours a week watching Oprah and Dr Phil yet cannot see when they need help themselves.
Maybe it is because people who try to control every aspect of their families lives also overextend to their friends that same dysfunction, whereas we simply do not have to take it. I told my friend who shouted at me that she was out of control and that I will not tolerate that kind of treatment. I then tried an intervention, all the rage on Oprah a few years ago. I felt I could only move forward by pointing out as a friend of over fifteen years that she needed more help than she was currently receiving. Did not hear from her again for weeks and weeks and then it was as if I had done something wrong, been insensitive.
You may think I am an absolute bitch but the thing is that I have spent years putting other people ahead of my needs and I have decided that is it, no more. Does not mean I am suddenly selfish after all these years but I am putting my own family first now, and that means respecting myself more and not letting people abuse me because that impacts my family, after all they did hear me retch after she screamed down the phone at me.
So that is why I say that I have learned how to do a few things that people under thirty already know….uploading photos, putting oneself first, networking more, and not allowing relationships to become more give than take. We have a lot to learn from young people, they have an assertiveness that comes from knowing their true value, unlike my generation of women who were brought up to smile and never stand up for themselves in case, horror of horrors they were not considered nice.
Posted in Blogging, Courtesy, Life, Thoughts, Update | Tags: assertiveness, boundaries, family first, friends, menopause, networking, quilt, selfish
